'once upon a dream'

16 day Europe Highlights Tour is now over.. It was superb in a way and i have forgotten the not so great parts.. huhu.. overall it was okay.

Apart from getting the chance to travel to lots of places... i have been able to collect some life lessons. i did something that i never thought i would do. i have seen places that i thought i would never see. i learn alot of things along the way. i meet new faces. from variety walks of life..of all ages. talk to lots of people. experience lots of things. overall it has been enlightening. great but not so great. im happy..but not contented. there is something missing. although i couldnt point it out..

The great things include the beautiful views of Swiss..the city life of Paris... the once upon a dream of Disneyland... the true to life imagination of Rome... the unexpected of me in Amsterdam. tu je la kot...others was just usual. But the shopping experience in Inssbruck was superb. My eyes twinkle like Swarovski crystals. hehehe.. and i had a great shopping companion too..thanks! =p

Abang2 and Kakak2 i met was so cool... the remind me of Mama n Papa... the kiddies i met reminds me of my babies.. gosh i miss them more than i thought. the new friends i make was superb... different people than i usually met. Nice knowing all of u.. =) stay in touch ya guys... it was all good! Thanks for the good time u guys gave me...

i think the best part of the tour... is when i woke up every morning, i have to remind myself where i am... it felt so great to wake up in different places every morning. and yesterday, i was so sad to actually woke up in my own room. =(

the journey home from London was lonely... and my lonely days start today when Sal have gone to London around half past 6 this morning...

last night, i get my proper birthday cake.. =) thanks guys.. im touched. i get to make a wish n blow candles...finally, a proper celebration.

that was the first time i travel alone... hopefully the last time... =) cos it felt empty...

and dreams do come true... yes it does.. for that im thankful! im grateful..

good to be home...great to be on the tour...

[mixed feelings]

*I would like to welcome my new friends whom i met on the tour to my humble blog.. do leave a message in the shoutbox or in the comment box...Thanks for visiting me!!*

Be My Guest!

this entree is written by my guest writer. read here to know why he has to write an entree for me. and he goes by the name PutraSyah. Thanks for the entree. its a good one too! hehe.. so keep on writing ya... =) wokeh, enjoy the entree...while i go and make my morning coffee... =)

[Untitled]
By: Putrasyah

I would like to start this page by saying “I am so sorry… Terribly sorry” to the owner of this blogsite. We made a bet about a month ago, and I had promised her that I would post my story by July 1st. I am terrible in keeping promises. My life is full of unexpected things or events. Sometimes, I feel afraid to make promises. Afraid I would break them. But what I fear most is: losing other people’s trust in me. So Eqin… Here’s my story to you. I hope you’ll like it.

Sitting on my bed, I was asked to write a story to be posted on this blog website. Where to begin? Personally, I can’t contain the variety of feelings losing to Germany which all should be treasured as unique jewels. So, with a computer on my lap, a glass of Dr. Siemer’s Multivitamin Nectar in a wine glass, and the stereo playing Siti Nurhaliza’s CD, the writing begins.

Earlier this morning, I woke up and rush into the bathroom. Nothing else in my mind except for the football games and … Bruxelles! Yeah, that’s right! Me and my family are going to Bruxelles, België. Just another short family getaway. At first, I thought Bruxelles is just another typical “European City”. But I was mistaken. There is something about Bruxelles which makes it different, in a good sense off course, than any other European cities which I have been. The buildings are well organized and their antique architectures are well preserved. No wonder Bruxelles is the European Capital.

However, by concurring the bet between me and Eqin, I’ve ambitiously tried to slay a dragon. Whether with mountains of prayers, or long hours of screaming and cheering for Sweden, the Germans would have still made it to quarter final.

Losing Sweden over Germany means a little to me since I am not such a big fans of Sweden. The only reason I wanted this yellow-blue team to enter quarter final is because they are the only Scandinavian country that qualified to the second round.

After diving into the deep end of the first round which filled with “fishes” of men, the Swedish are still breathing. While they started “swimming” against the current – the obstacles or barriers – hopefully they’re now swimming with it. The first round has passed. It has made them somehow stronger, solid and full of confidence.

Cheering and screaming at the top my lungs are only devoted to the “Oranje”. The Orange. They have played the game magnificently for the first round. Edwin Van Der Sar, Robin Van Persie, Arjen Robben, Ruud Van Nistelrooij, Giovanni Van Bronckhorst, Mark Van Bommel, and Wesley Sneijder – YOU ARE MY HEROES. I remembered the spokesman on TV said the other day, “Today the sky is Orange” for the game between Netherlands and Ivory Coast. I like the sound of it. Seeing half of the stadium in orange with the aid of sun shining down on them make them somehow seems countless. I thought to myself, the sun is on our side. The sun too was cheering for our victory. Hope she will keep on shining the shine of our glory to remind the world of our victory.

With seven points in hand, we proceeded to the second round. This time we will fight against Portugal. Before the game started, I looked outside my bedroom window. It was still raining. It has been raining since early this morning. I thought of the sun. Wondering where she might have gone to. Is she lost somewhere in the abundance of clouds? I prayed for her presence. Prayed that she would be here and shine that glory of ours. And she did. But, it was not long. She stops shining today. The sun does not want to stay. She closes herself behind the grey clouds. Somehow she betrays us. She betrays me. Maybe she has her own reason not to cheer for us. Maybe she is sick today and needed a rest. Maybe she felt betrayed. Why? Is it because her favorite player Ruud Van Nistelrooij was not on the game? Maybe the sun felt betrayed since the team dressed in cloud-and-sky outfit today. Maybe…just maybe. Whatever the reason, she must know that we will always be orange. No matter what color we reflected.

Time forces the game to make choices, which defined them as two groups we now known as losers and gainers. The ones that proceed to quarter finals, while the other packed up their bags and took the first flight back to their homeland. Standing once again on the soil of their ancestors. That’s the nature of the world. The Ying Yang. Some part of the world would call it karma. Like the one in Alicia Keys’ song“…What goes around comes around, what goes up must come down…” These are inseparable nevertheless what actions are taken. Every action has its consequences. Even GWB knows that!

Finally, when the referee blows his whistle, the game was officially ended. The “purple fishes” were moving ups and downs forming wave-like scenery. I felt like screaming and tearing me from this place, from the fact that Holland had just lost to Portugal, rise up like gases from a soda can and float away. Mix into this chill summer night and dissolve somewhere high where nobody could trace me. But, that was me being Ally McBeal. The truth is: my legs are still bound to the ground. There won’t be any floating away. There will not be any miracle tonight.

I pressed the palms of my both hands on my face with hope that it was just a dream. Just another dream that plays around in my head. Soon, I will wake up and start my daily routine. I was wrong. It wasn’t a dream. I open my eyes again and I know what I need: a hot shower.

After a long hot shower, I got myself prepared for the bed. As I lay in bed, switching off the side lamp, I look out through my bedroom window. It’s the same window which I have waited for the sun to show up. The night was starless. I hardly saw any stars that night. All the images about missing the goals when there were chances keep “popping” in my head. There was silence. No other sounds my ears could have traced other than the sound of my own breath. The night and the stars somehow mourn on our lost to Portugal. Lost our only ticket to the quarter final. Tonight, the whole Netherlands sleeps in silence. The mourning state has just initiated!

When I woke up the next day, the stereo was turned off. I looked around to see if there was anybody in my room. Perhaps my mother could have been here earlier. I rolled over to my right and I saw a slice of sky was peeking through the curtains of my window. I wondered whether today will be better than yesterday. I got up and headed directly to the bathroom. Doing like most men would do every morning – p**, brush teeth, wash face and fix hair from “out-of-bed” look to “drop-dead-gorgeous” look. Starting a new day with a new history just marked last night: Holland lost to Portugal in Second Round. Huhu…!!!

I went to Amstelveen Centrum later that day. As I passed through the hallway in “de Bijenkorf” I saw the Oranje decorations were still hanging on trees, the dummy still wearing an orange shirt written “Hup..! HOLLAND Hup..!!”, and a lot of other Oranje Merchandise were still on for sale. “Poor Holland… Poor Holland…” was all I could say. The sun was still hidden and the sky remains grey. It supposed to be summer at this moment. Everybody could have show off with their fancy summer dress, tops or bottoms, gone for picnic in the park, or sun bathing on the beach while playing volleyball topless – but yet… everybody was still wearing their long coats, or heavy and thick jackets. Summer has always been my favorite time of the year. That’s why I love staying in Malaysia during winter. Malaysia is like a Summerland to me.

I left Holland to Malaysia on 28th of June 2006. I felt kinda strange that day. I felt like I’ve left something. When I checked back my list, everything is with me. Later, I know what that feeling was. I’m gonna miss Holland. Misses the people I’ve known, misses my room in the attic, misses the way the Dutches speak, misses the smell and the taste of Döner in Museumplein, misses cycling around in Amstelveen (and got lost) alone, misses my favourite creek which I name it “San Kong Creek” near the Rathuis in Amstelveen and everything that has been part of my life in Holland. I don’t know when will my next time I shall step my foot on the Dutch’s soil ever again.

[1,496 words]

my 22nd in Amsterdam

i just came back from my europe trip. save it for later. i would like to do this instead.

good girls go to Disneyland

bad girls go to AMSTERDAM...ohh yeah!! =)

28th July 2006: my 22nd birthday in Amsterdam.

on the 27th of July, i travelled to Amsterdam, on the way, i received a text. thanks dude! u r the first to wish me...=) but the text makes me cry... suddenly the idea of celebrating birthday in foreign land does not sounds great. suddenly i remember how much fun it was with friends around u... and a birthday cake! [to me there is no birthday without a cake!] suddenly i found myself texting every friend i know...

there are plenty to wish for...but most of all i wish my friends are wit me right now. this gonna be the suckest birthday. no friends and no cake. i mish u...

but its blessing in disguise...upon receiving my text... they send replies. and yesh...u call me!! thanks. i have been blessed by great friends...thanks guys!! love u guys so much...

that evening was spend strolling along Red Light District in Amsterdam. *wink wink* jalan jalan jek... it was okay..

i was still upset for the fact there is no cake! but yesh this special 'cake' make me 'happy'...

considering the fact that i am not really happy before, and i was laughing my head off after that, i cant stop laughing...and i smile until my cheek hurts..so i think that thing works... [lets leave that open for interpretation]...and thats the first time and the last time i ever did that. OMG!! i cant believe that...huhu

although, it is still no friends n no cake...but its not the suckest birthday ever. first, there are friends...its just they are not there physically...i mish u guys!! anyway, i have my newly found friends that night.. and secondly, there is still no proper cake.. but that cake is special.. =P its the worst chocolate brownie i ever tasted... but its special. i wonder who else [in my class] have ever eaten that cake? hmm....=P

i am now finally home... ohh bed!! i mishh u soo much!!!

Au revoir!!!

7 am, 14 of July. im catching a bus to London. and meet up with kak Fiza there. ohh yesh.. it should be fun. =) im spending a day in london before going for the trip...

ahh London. my favourite. i love London soo much!! for many many reasons. too many until i cant say what the reasons are. i have been there during spring. summer. autumn and winter. and i am going to repeat that again. i have been to london last spring. and its summer now [although it doesnt look like it...but it is Summer!] then, come autumn, im going there again. for some unfinished business. *wink* then come winter... =) my favourite season. Last winter was awesome. This coming winter...its time for me to part with my favourite city in the world...=(

anyway, this is my tentative. Friday 14th July 06 it starts....

Day 0: Plymouth to London
Day 1: London to Paris
Day 2: Paris
Day 3: Disneyland Paris
Day 4: to Swiss Alps
Day 5: Swiss Alps
Day 6: To Pisa
Day 7: Pisa to Rome
Day 8: Rome
Day 9: Rome to Venice
Day 10: Venice
Day 11: To Innsbruck [Sal's birthday]
Day 12: Neuchwanstein
Day 13: Heidelberg
Day 14: Amsterdam [ohh cant wait!!!]
Day 15: To London
Day 16: Arrived in Plymouth. reunited with my bed!!!

i will see u on the 30th of July... pray for my safety! till then...

Amusez vous bien!! Au revoir!

this is another dream come true.. and dreams do come true... so dream on... =)

London Eye: 31 March 2005

Dinner with the doctors...

i was left home alone today, i only saw 4 souls today. First, it was Sue, my mak cik cleaner. Then, Doreen came to use the laptop for awhile. Then i did not speak to a soul until i Fariza came to have dinner with me. and later Faizan join in.

i cook a simple dish. nothing fancy really. But we had fun.. Fariza told what happen today at work. then, Faizan's turn to tell his story. yeah they used medical terms which means nothing to this mere teacher trainee..but it was soo funny. they taught me something new today... 'Kalau nak bunuh diri, buat betul2'.. which is true! if u r laying there...half dead from overdose of something...sleeping pills, or panadols.. or whatever... it makes people like Faizan go home later than he should. nak mati pun nyusahkan orang lagi..huhu.. then u r transfered to a ward...and make ppl like Fariza....go round and round trying to figure whats wrong with u. it just make ppl life easier if u just kill ur self and make it right. die instantly. dead. then people like Faizan can go home on time. and people like Fariza does not have to go round and round figuring ur mental problem. [hehehe....aiyoo now im becoming like them la...] and dont call ppl if u want to kill urself. if u think somebody care about u, why on earth do u want to kill urself???

and i think the best part when listening to these 2....they make u feel like u r a doctor too...or ok la..rendah sket la..like medical students. but i get used to listening to them n sometimes i could understand a few things.heheh...maybe i could be a doctor..[yeah rite...thats is so funny...=p]. the first time i heard about their experience facing death, i was a bit disturb. and i envy their courage. they can still go on with life like nothing happen. im emotional. i take that kind of things seriously.it bugs me so i cant be a doctor.

yeah these two add more spice to life... and help me go through life with extra lessons like today.. 'whatever u want to do..make sure you do it right!' thanks guys... u guys make my day. and thanks for coming over after a long day at work..[both balik an hour later then they are supposed to] and say goodbye to me.. i will see u guys when i come home... do miss me!

Dr Fariza Wan Jamaluddin and Dr Faizan Ahmad

my favourite doctors...=)

pretravel syndrome

this is not the first time it happens. 48 hours or so, all the excitement gone. *poof*

i have travelled many times before. this should not be any different. ok so this is the first time i travelled outside UK... but i have travelled 10 thousands miles away. why should this be any different? where have the excitement gone??? i can still remember the last night i slept in my bed at home in kuantan. all excited. =) me to the foreign land....

its like the excitement is being replace by the stress of packing. but i have packed many times before. it used to be my favourite part of travelling. im always the one who know how to pack my things. always the one with everything needed in emergencies. but always the one who travels light. i have the best bagpack. i can carry 14kg on my shoulder and didnt hurt my back. thanks to my bagpack! superb!

this is not the first time im going away for a long time. my winter trip took 16 days to complete. so does this europe tour. i have been away for many many days. yes i mish my bed. i mish my teddies. i mish my selimut ajaib. but there are more things to miss if dont go [too late to cancel anyway].

i have gone through many things when i travelled. scary.. heart stopping... blood pumping... funny... laugh till u cry... happy times...sad times.. saying hello to new faces... of the same age. younger. older. from all walks of life. on the street. during official functions. casual meetings. dead serious meetings. saying goodbye... promises to meet again.. to stay in touch. too many many things. some are to be remembered...some are forgotten. some friends stay...like u. =) some never to be seen again. but always cherish. =)

im sure this one shouldnt be any different. but why the frown?

i think i worried too much lately. i should enjoy this final months while im still here, in the foreign land.

throw away that sad look eQin...thats not u... thats her. u dont want to take her to europe dont u.. so leave her behind. take all the smiles with u... after all i promise its going to be a super wonderful time for u...

alot of things are waiting to happen after u come back. sure u will stick around in August. but there are tonnes of things dying to happen.... for you to enjoy... good things dont last forever! =)

come to think of it.. i felt this sucks same time last year.. and it turns out to be superb!

so no worries...

14 February 2005

and i won again..

oh yeah!!! eQin never loose!!! hah.... eat that dude!! i told u Italy is going to win the WC!!!

although France deserve to win but fate wasnt on their side. too bad. and Zidane?? what the heck...why did he do that? sure that italian guy [watever his name is] did something to deserve that ohh so awesome head work. but..dude? this is your last international game. hello? end it with a red card?? adoi la.. very frustrating ya.. huhu..

anyway, it was a good game. and 120min is very tiring for me and the rest of the gang.. me n Sal purposely wore BLUE today to cheer for ITALY..oh yeah!! although all of us were not so happy it end with penalty kicks. but ITALY won anyway...hehe..

the makan2 today was awesome!! we had Pizza, Fries, kebab, fried chicken and indian chef!! wow...best gila weh... totally wicked!!!

and yg kelakar nyer after 90min over...berlari2 pegi toilet.. fuyoooo... hehe.. then after extra time pun sama gak. hehee.. lawak seh...

and this is the best WC ever!

first cos i truly feels how does it feel to support England... being part of it. watch them play. scream for the goals. and cried for the lost. its totally great!

second bcos i have great ppl to watch it together. start with Julie, Sudi, Sal, Linda, Lex, then, later, Ama, Azraq, Huda, Doreen...u guys are the BEST!!!!

third bcos i dont have to wake up at 3am to watch it. i can just go straight to bed after game. ohh thats totally awesome man!! i will never have that luxury again!

fourth bcos by the next WC kick off i wont have any of this anymore. but ya.. we promise to meet up...when its time for WORLD CUP!!!! oh yeah..

so girls, start saving money for the biggest TV u can put your hands on. we will gather at the best venue to watch it together. and if ur place is choosen, and u r married by that time. kick ur husband out...hehehe... ask him to watch at some other place ok? [ahaksss] cos we are soooo going to make noise like we did just now didnt we??? oh yeah!!!!

hmm...now no more football ya. i have to get ready for europe. hope they still sell WC stuff for super cheap price now in Germany. hehehe...

now have to find something else to entertain me. amuse me. make me happy. ohh im just too tired now. have to be in bed! night...sweet dreams. surely sweet dreams for Italian Fans.. =)

Dude...u lost to me la...hehe... can i have my birthday present now???

what i want for my birthday...

last year, i celebrated 21 years of life...it was one hell of a week. had assignmentSSSS. and the night before my birthday, i was busy preparing costumes for the Ulek Mayang princesses. i had flour thrown at me... huhuhu... and we had an International Night on that night. so no party that night..had to postpone to another day. but it was all fun n merry n gay... =) had a box of chocolate... Cadbury..my favourite! got a crystal bracelet from mom. a box of pink candles. a cat cushion. a small blue kambeng teddy. a bunny teddy who i named Bunny. and a cake too!!! home made ya... not ASDA ok??? and i bought a new hair brush from body shop for myself..hehe.. and i had tonnes of well wishes..not to forget cards from NZ and ausie.. thanks guys!! u guys are the best!!!

this year...its going to be a quiet celebration. so ok. its going to be in Amsterdam. and im not going to go crazy like a few people think i would. heh! but no party...wat la weh... T_T got to have a party la...must have a cake...huhuhu well come to think of it... its going to be a quiet celebration for Sal [25th of July], and me..and Faizan [5th of August]. huhuhu...what to do..

hmm i asked sal what she wants for her birthday. seriusly got no idea whatsoever. and she asked me back. so later i told her. i want a big double mug. a nice one. (*_*) well, since my double mug pecah already....T_T boleh ek mintak cam tu...hehehe... but she havent told me what she wants la...

haiyoo... actually i dont have anything else to ask for on my birthday... [but £500 to spend in europe would be nice really...but thats not the case] .... cos if i start asking...it will be a whole damn long list... adoi la... but on second thought, an A for my dissertation would be superb!! its going to be the best birthday present ever. but how about save it for next year huh???...since u havent write anything. ok la.. so that left me with nothing...

ok la...better go to bed now. long day tomorrow. Italian Pizza vs French Fries. erk.. oh anyway.. here is a picture for u guys... from now on i want to post a picture every so often. maybe one in every other post.

do me a favour.... dont ask!

[memories revisited]

erk...i do have things to do. alot actually.. but im just to bloody lazy to do anything. huhuhu...

..........and the state of my bank balance is worrying me sick! ermm worry not...just enjoy this once in a life time experience. worry about that later..

im not working with Inted this summer. it just piss me off. really. so i decided not to work. prolly spend my august reading. cos i have tonnes to do. damn i promise Liz to finish that questionnaire. huhuu.. i have to start thinking seriously about that bloody dissertation.

...and i am supposed to start jogging again today. foot no longer hurt..but being me. im just to bloody lazy to go anyway...

hmm this has got to be my bloody post. too many blood. huhu...oh n yesterday.. a year ago. i received a call that i almost bleed n fall dead. there were alot of ppl worry about us. never knew so many ppl care... and you... sorry it makes you super uneasy and cant sit still until u talk to us and know that we are safe. i still remember how u sounded when i called to tell u that we are fine and safe in Manchester...and how your eyes just brighten up when u see us all in one piece a few days after that. hmm thanks for loving us like your own... I love u too!!! =) i love the fact that u r sooo cool but never too cool to layan all our stupid ways of enjoying life...hehehe....u just love us...dont u?

ahhh Manchester... my shopping heaven....

and those were the days when i was so bloody rich...but now i am soooooo bloody poor...=(

officially on holiday!

yeay...now i can join my friends on our luxury 3 months SUMMER HOLIDAY!!! but i do have my own plan...my daily activities include

DUDUK NGANGA
TENUNG DINDING..
and my famous superbly-wonderful-cant-get-enough....BUANG MASA!!!

yeay!!!dude..now i can join u to buang masa jugak!!! no need to sakit hati wit u lagi...=P

i have submitted my folio like 3 hours ago and i had my lunch..

Sal had a makan spree yesterday...she eat almost everything in the house. so today no food for u babe!!! heh! and u finish my ice cream too....now i got no ice cream to eat...T_T

my room look like it has been hit by a tornado....well, not like it hasnt on a normal day. just it has been hit by tornado...TWICE! erk...actually THRICE!!! first time equal normal days...second time resulting from doing the portfolio.. and the third time...i couldnt find my chequebook...so i turn the upside down room..inside out...=D now i cant see the carpet...and i actually forgot wat colour it was...hmm... was it blue or green??? i think it was maroon... [hehehehe...=p]

and i have less than 7 days to get ready for my Europe tour! well...it cost me £550 from the moment i step out of my house till i get back again. that does not include spending money ya... T_T officially brokeback mountain!

and exactly 3 weeks to my birthday....YEAY!!!!

ok la...saje je nak update...have nothing to say pun...huhuhu...brain to tired to think anyway. must rest....must sleep...tonite wanna have fun!!! YEAYYY!!!

its sooo true!

do u want to know something? i just got to know that american football players go to ballet class for balance yada yada... so what i am going to write next is possible and i think its true! [there are alot of evidence on tonite's game! go watch it again...]

here is what i predict on Portugal's training schedule...

Monday ... Practice free kicks...
Tuesday... Dribbles and tackles
Wednesday... DRAMA CLASS
Thursday... Cardio workout
Friday... Penalty kicks
Saturday... Corner kicks
Sunday ... off...

hey...what u think? dont u think its true? i think they really really do go to drama class...cos thats what i learn this term...i had 3 weeks of drama class. they teach wat portugese show on the game tonite. serious!!!

ohh so we are meeting FRANCE in the final...good job Zidane!! but u r going to cry like that Christina Ronaldo when ITALY take the WC home.. [God...please let the Italian wins...alot of ppl is going to boo me if they dont...*pray* ...eQin cari pasal with tonnes of ppl man...adoi la... huhu folio tak siap gak...]

Ainee....thanks for the lovely Indian Chef Dinner ya... it was indeed very filling. [couldnt really concetrate for the 2nd half] i would like to serves Pizza for Finals.. anyone up for a slice while watching??? =D

ohh somebody wants this sentence to be publish...

"ama said she wanted 2 come...but she didn't.....mesti buat folio...hampeh ar ko ama" [Amalina, 2006]

hehehe...u should write your own blog girl... and i couldnt wait for Lily's new post... She is GOOD!!! love her...

with the Semifinals now over...i have 36hours to finish that 3000 words portfolio on Literature in the Classroom... gosh...i am sooo going to die!!!!! can i do a 3000 words commentary on Fifa 2006 World Cup games instead?? well, that last wish didnt came true....and i got only 62marks for it...T_T i could get an A if they change the question....apa daa....huhuhu...

apa dok sengih kat sini lagi....pegi la siapkan that folio...huhuhu...

ye la ye la....nak buat la nih...T_T [grabbing that how to teach literature to children book...]

Oh yeah!!!

here is the real situation. im still sad and all over england's lost last saturday. i was so sure i could still cheer for England tomorrow. but its all over. T_T

this morning, i as the official co-host of WC port cawangan Marjon, invited a friend to watch tonite's game, and i asked her which team she is cheering for... and she said Germany. i automatically say, im cheering for Italy. heh! i know nothing about the team. it seems i always cheer for the not-so-in-favour team [except for England] lately. but anyway, i stay true for ITALY.. bukan cam masa Brazil vs France.. first half sokong Brazil...2nd half sokong France..apa kes??? hehehe...

alot of ppl say its going to be Germany and France for the final. but hey...alot of ppl say its going to be England n Brazil.. look where they are now.. HOME!!=P [but i am still sad for England's lost...i cried!]

so tonite, the super hot hostess are cheering for ITALY [no...we didnt pakat ok!!] then, came the girls [linda, ainee, doreen, azraq, and ama]...cheering for Germany. i didnt put high hopes for Italy..but they play a good game. they try hard. they work for it! and i know Germany was streching the game till penalty kicks, well bcos they have Abang Leman who is sooo damn good! and just before half time, Azraq change sides...cheering for Italy! [thats allowed...kitaorg penah change sides sokong TnT masa lawan ngan England..game was too boring...] so its 3 on 3, when Ama went home during half time..[weh ama...aku tau ko wat folio... hampeh arr... =p] its expected the game to go into extra-time. and tense fill the air of H33 drawing room.... tension oooo!! it was like 2 minutes left... and GOALLL!!!! we were screaming!!! OMG... i am sooo happy!!! and the scream havent really finish... damn... another one!!! and Germany lost...ohh so sad... [drama drama.....] and all of us scream!!! of course we [Sal, me and Azraq] are jumping up n down..so merry n gay... 2 goals in 60 seconds!!!way to go ITALY!!!! but Linda and Doreen was like.... NOOOOO.... ohh too bad darling! Germany lost... hehehehe...

ahhh winning....and again!!! hehehe so me n sal celebrate the victory with ice creams.. then, retire to our own room to work on the folio.... suddenly, im so sure im doing a song for the folio. i will choose You Never Walk Alone..then, the topic can be family members or friends. aiyoo clever eQin... =D

as i was just about to sit down... i recieved a text. it was Lex. he texts me from Malaysia... he is a germany supporter. so sorry la dude.. i know la i support germany for the last few games...but tonite i sokong Italy la..hehehe...


Italy's wins over germany was like mengubat duka kekalahan England...

from now on, we only eat pasta, spaghetti, pizza with loads of tomato and cheese..=p Oh yeah!!!

GO ITALY!!!!

*tukar kerakyatan lagi aku...dah tak jadi rakyat England dah. Bila england kalah, tukar jadi rakyat french... but now, i think nak tukar jadi rakyat Italy la...hehe...or maybe jadi rakyat Portugal..oh tak kot...Portugal make England lost..and im not cheering for that 'Christina Ronaldo'... [Miss Lily LiverBird, 2006]

[assignment mode]

aiyook....huhuhu i have been on a roller coaster ride of everything. well to be honest, the ultimate roller coaster of emotion. that explains my sad sounding entree ya..[anyway, takde la sad sangat...depressing sket jek] and no, i blom bertukar menjadi pelik lagi..hehehe.. still normal! =p [thanks tho...i know u care!!!]

there are alot of things happen past few days, weeks, and months. although there are only me n sal in the house at the moment, there are alot of emotion going on inside us. uncertainty. well, she is maybe cool with it. but im not. there are too many emotions going on inside me. too many things happen..it touch my heart, broke my heart, moves it.. and it all bothers me to the max. hmm tapi dengan assignment tak siap nih...mana mampu seh mau melayan perasaan aku nih...

abis assignment...busy ngan bola plak[ahaks]...then, i have to get ready for my europe trip. yes..thats wat my fren said. just look forward to my europe trip..=) ...dude, i know its going to be fun n all...with my birthday n stuff, but that is not a replacement for u not spending times with me ok? [eQin sedey ditinggalkan sendirian... =( ]

for now i just need to talk to somebody i usually talk to when i have things to say. and all of them are not here. or busy. or deep in their own emotion.

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

well somebody is around. but still, i cant let it all out...

Bottled up inside
are words i never said
the feelings that i hide
the lines you never read.

You can see it in my eyes
read it on my face
traped in side are lies
of the past i can't replace.

With memories that linger
won't seem to go away
why can't i be happier
today’s a brand new day.

Yesterdays are over
even though the hurting is not
nothing lasts forever
i must cherish what i've got.

Don't take my love for granted
for soon it will be gone
all you ever wanted
of the love you thought you'd won.

The hurt i'm feeling now
won't disappear over night
but someway, somehow
everything will turn out alright….

[my favourite poem of all times..since school lagik..]

i know im going to live. i know its all going to be alright. i know that. but i want u and u and u to be here...now...right here...right now... with me...so i can cry on your shoulder like last time.. T_T and i dont like to be alone.. dont let me lost... and confused.. for i am once a shattered soul.. who find her way back...

ok dah...dah....sekarang boleh sambung wat folio..T_T

*July 4th.. happy birthday Julie..!!!*

damn it!

YES! damn it! i know. i dont care. its wrong. but what the heck. say what u want. i dont bother.

I MISS YOU...

there i said it. i thought im going to be fine. no i am not. i was wrong. sorry. it wasnt meant to be this way. but i miss u.

i actually miss u more than i think i could miss u.
i miss u more than im supposed to miss u.
i actually miss u more than i think i should miss u.
i miss u more than u think i miss u.

i can't decide who. really. but i miss u.

and the worst part really. there is nothing i can do. well apart than stare into blank spaces. thinking about u. missing u when u are here with me. i miss u. so much.

i miss u. damn it! T_T

[broke n broken]

Promises mean everything when you're little and the world is so big....

i am nearly 22... but promises still mean everything...and i am still a baby...and the world is still so big...

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see

love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you


stilll those who inspire me to write shines the most... no matter what our relationship is...

thank you. thank you. for the wonderful times. i have enjoyed it. for the encouragement. really appreciate it. for the support u gave. it keeps me going. thank you very much! never had anyone say anything much about my mindless ramblings.

hope to speak to u again...soon....take care! and all the best in your studies!

another reason to keep on writing...=) cos i know even tho we no longer speak like we used to.. i can count on you to keep on reading...