disturbed

I may claim that my 'kampung halaman' is the Great Britain. I may claim that I am 'British' jokingly. I may claim that 'andai aku dibuang dan tak diterima... andai aku disingkirkan... akan ku lari balik ke UK' hehehe..

but I love this country very much and try not to betray the very same government that give me the chance to be a whole lot better person. The only one chance to realise that there is soooo much more life has to offer!

But when a very respected relative who had a great education and respectable job and a healthy bank account which I assume to be so cultured with a very modern open minded person said something very shallow and ridiculous, it just blew me right away. It hit me straight away that tho I may not be even remotely eligible to be 'Negarawan' and I at any given day, be given the chance to live at another country and dump this teaching job, would definitely take it no question asked, but I still have the guts to at least respect the harmony of the racial integration and be thankful for the life that I have.

It bothers me how can someone so successful in life, living in a big house, working for a GLC company, has a daughter living abroad, siblings living abroad, look-up to by others including myself can utter something so obviously wrong. How on earth someone like that can say that the stupid guy namewee is brilliant?

We are cultured people... we are working toward a develop nation which will not happen overnight. If you are not happy towards something, there are proper channels on which you can express you unhappiness, there are ways you can complain and if all means fail. There is always the newspaper and televisions.. even calling up Karam Singh Walia is ten thousand million times better than trashing the very same country that you live in. The same government that provide the health care for your mom when you were born, the very same country that teach you how to read and write.

And there is another instance where I thought someone else who appears very religious could blame the same organisation that is giving them job and a good life. They say the organisation is not doing their job just because that I haven't been transfered to KL yet. I could say nothing but smile~~ I could say what I am about to write next but it is just not my style to do such thing.

I learned long ago that when things didn't happen the way I wanted them to be, there must be something better! We plan, but God has a better plan for us. After my wedding, I applied to be transfered to KL, and when it didn't happen, I cried and cried and cried non stop. I asked why did you want to see me suffer like that? Why would you waste a teacher who could do so much more than this? Little that we know I will be transfered to Kuantan soon after that to take care of my sister who is going to sit for her SPM n mom who was diagnosed with breast cancer that year. Imagine if I get the transfered to KL. How could I help my dad to send my sister here there and everywhere..  how can I help my mom when she was soo sick?

I believe that God has a lot in store for me. He may not give me what I want all the time...but i certainly get what I needed. I send in my application again this year.. but even if I did or didnt get it.. I know there is something good for me.


on a different note:
I long the company of friends who have the same wavelength and those who share the same 'maturity' with me.. but then, I wont meet these people who really scares me thinking what does the future society has to offer..  and I was again scared by the fact that my students are so unaware that there is another side of the world and there is soooo much more life has to offer...and they live in the very same borderless world!

It scares me...but I am selfish enough not to let the teaching consume my youth. I am destine to be so much more!

jumble-up

it has been a while since i last blog. since i put thoughts in my post into what i write. Many things had happened.

Since the last post.

Puasa

Mama n Papa pegi Mekah
Raya
Ayang worked offshore for almost 3weeks
Course in IPBA for 5days~
Reunion in Janda Baik
Bought my Chloe Paddington

That was a fun filled months...lots and lots of celebration and occasional tears. Owh that must happen to me. It will happen.

And school is going to be out really soon.. owh saya sudah rasa mood bercuti~~~ saya sungguh malas untuk mengajar~~~ and again my holiday will be filled with lots and lots of activities. I really really want to read the book i bought two years ago.

First I need really think about kitchen n interior design. I really have to start thinking about colours n patterns and deco. Owhh dear how fun~~ Floor n blinds n tiles n handles~ Hubby said that during this school holiday I will have to start sketching and collecting info about all things. As soon as the keys in our hands, we will start asking for quotation and buying things to move in. We are sooo sooo sooo excited about our new crib!

I did some thinking months ago.. kind da decided that I want calm n clean look. I want my house to look like showroom. Clean and streamline. My kitchen too. heee.. which really translate to no cooking at all. =p One or two colours with different shades. Really really wants to make this right.

Hubby n I really have the same idea and thoughts about decorating. Only he will have more say in it cos he is paying for it~~ I am soo going to make him pay for it. He has good taste n doesnt mind paying more for fancier stuff.

I have back n forth thoughts about continuing my business. Not that it is not rewarding. It really is and it is paying for my Chloe at the moment which is equal amount to almost 3months pay. huhuhu.. But i make a mistake and it is not really fun anymore. I make 2 mistakes. huhu I learn but it is not fun when  u have to pay for it for a very long time. Plus I might be get transferred to KL which will be a really troublesome to continue. First I need space to put all the hooks. 2nd posting will be a lot of trouble unless I can figure it out. But I can really put it to good use and I can join loads of different bazaar. I really want to make a lot of sales during the holidays. I really want to get the words out.. I really need to do something.

I think thats about it for tonite. I must must must put my thoughts here.. every since facebook came into my life..blogging really has taken a back seat. Not fun!!!