backdated...

PLEA
14 Feb 2008 … the day I escape to dreamland 3 years ago…

Here is my plea. Actually i have two.

First i would like to request that this bloody place to have decent phone lines. To those who know how much i used to spend my time on the phone should bloody wonder how am i surviving. Well to tell u the truth.. for most nights.. i cry myself to sleep. Tho i laugh and smile during the day, it is different when bedtime approaching. It is bloody lonely.

I need you now
More than words can say
I need you now
I gotta find a way
I need you now
Before i loose my mind

That is part of a song that freakingly speaks my mind. I can get one or two bars of lines here if i put my phone on my friend’s window aisle. My ‘Cekelat’ does not has loud speaker nor it is equip with handsfree...tipon jek lawa.. hampeh rupanyer. Huhu... maklum ler..tipon clearance jek. Thus.. i have to pretend it has loud speaker by asking the person on the other side to talk louder. And i have to guess what he is saying as i cant really hear bcos the phone is practically 20cm away from me. OMG...i am so going to buy that cheap nokia phone with handsfree and loudspeaker which will only cost me less than RM150...[ moi dapat angpau ribu2..hehehe...jgn jeles neh..=P]

...OMG my English is getting worse. Ye la...mana tak nyer. Hari2 dok ajar words bodo2 jek. Tak best langsung. =’(

Secondly, i would like to ask if anybody out there knows anyone who knows where i can get supplement to increase my patience level. OMG.. god knows how my blood pressure rose to the highest level each time i enter any class!!!!!!! Well u imagine.. for two days, i invigilate a test on 3M [membaca, menulis dan mengira] i have to test the students individually their ability to read. arahan: tunjuk dan baca dengan lancar... shit man. Tunjuk pun malas!! Eee ketuk kang budak nih.. dah la suara cam tak nak kluar jek. Aku ckp ngan bf aku pun kuat lagi.. grrrrr... kalau kat luar kelas tu suara cam jembalang pun ada.. i cant hear their voice even they are standing next to the table where i am sitting! No matter how many times i say..’kuat sket..cikgu tak dengar. Camne nak bagi markah’ .mulut terkumat kamit.. apa pun tak dengar. Hish..tension tol aku. First 2 questions are on recognizing the alphabets...tu pun ada lagi terbalik b ngan d... p and q... then ada plak yg kata X tu Q.... OMG OMG!!! Mana tak naik darah aku!!! We are not talking about year 1 or year 2 here... this is year 4.. and they are not the last class. They are considered freaking mediocre!!! Then those who can spell the sukukata.. you know..the ‘ba’ ‘da’ ‘fu’ etc etc... ada gak yg ‘p…a’ bunyi ‘ti’ etc etc.. T_T Moving to more ‘difficult’ questions.... word level ‘to..pi’ bunyi nyer ‘topo’!... huhuhu...wujud rupanya anak murid cam dlm cerita P. Ramlee... alip ya mim.. buaya... tak usah dok tanya la those ‘ gelang... nyanyi... nenek... bunyi or tatasusila etc...’ it is so depressing. I cant do this. Ni baru cerita membaca. I haven’t seen their written product. Ntah apa le rupanyer. Huhuuhu...

Here is the Maths story. 1+1= 4.... 1-1= 2 T_T haih..camne aku nak buat neh. Looking at their paper, i even try to help some of them...

Me: Awak ada satu pensel.. awak bagi pensel tu kat cikgu.. brapa pensel ada dgn awak?
Student: 2
Me: (&(*YGY Q#*^^#@

There are a few who i could help. My favourite Shahril a/l Lau Sam. Ohh...he does want to learn. There is something going on in his brain. He is thinking. I taught him how to divide. ‘ awak ada 18 guli...awak nak bagi kat 6 orang.. sorang dapat berapa?’ after a few simple questions... he is able to solve a few more by himself =) haih... if only all my students are like that. I don’t mind working hard.. but some of them could not be bothered to even learn anything. Everything tak tau cikgu.. tak pandai cikgu.. and there is even one student from my Year 2 class...

Student: saya baru masuk skolah cikgu..
Me: Bila awak masuk? Sebelum cuti ke selepas cuti?
Student: dah lama dah...
Me:....... (o_0) huhuhu

Thus, i now hope u understand how hard it is coping with this place. I hate to do useless things. If i cant see results fairly quick.. i give up. I am not hoping they can speak English fluently tomorrow or next week or even next year. I am just wishing they try harder.. to recognize those words i taught them. 4/5 words a week!!!! Like cycling.. reading.. head... shoulder.. book.. desk... chalk.. arghhhhh!!!!! I didn’t ask them to spell.. just recognize.. and pronounce it. Salah sikit pun takpe.. but they don’t bother to even remember anything. Even if i ought to stay here only a few more months... i would love to have that ‘patience supplement’. Just to make sure i survive the next few weeks. So if anybody know any supplement that could increase my patience level..please let me know. It does not matter if it’s in a form of liquid or capsules or pills or what ever. I need 10 boxes of those.. T_T no matter how much it would cost me. My sanity matter the most.. huhu…


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I would love to really teach.. like nouns and verb...like present tense and past tense. Like sentences and paragraphs. I am feeling all those wonderful things I learnt are slipping away.. please get me out of this place. It is killing me in every sort of ways.