huhuhu..pathetic summer holidays..its raining for almost 3days now..even tho i manage to go out yesterday... its very gloomy.. rain rain go away...hopefully it will be bright and sunny when me n my sisters go to london,manchester and cardiff.. cant wait... im sooooooooooooooooooooo super excited even tho it means more money.. hahah currently my bank account is in super critical state.. but its ok. i will somehow manage to survive.. i spend when i have the money... if i dont, then...i stay quietly at home doing everything that doesnt invovle money.. hahaha.. hmm nothing much had happen lately..
its difficult u know, when we let something go,or we give up...it hurt alot...and after awhile we somehow manage to pull ourselves together, live on...dont really think about it...then something happen reminding us about it, giving us hope that it might survive/happen...but then...we find out that we have to let go AGAIN...and go thru that hurting states of feelings and mind AGAIN... and it happens thousands of times to me over and over AGAIN... why cant i just stop it? why does it bother me? why it happens to me? why after the thousand times i still believe that it might happen? why after the thousand times it still hurt me?
i know that this will happen again,it will...but i dont know what will i do... do i react the same way as it happen to me the thousand times ago... do i react differently.. what do i do? how do i do it? when do i do it? is there a book title HOW TO LIVE THRU LIFE FOR IDIOTS like me? hmm bila agaknya perasaan ini akan berlalu selama lamanya?? gile jugak aku ni nanti...hmm sabar je la....
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