it was particularly hard...

today is the 12th of April. at this moment, i am supposed to get ready my school stuff but as usual...i rather blog. and since hubby left for KL an hour ago, i am the least enthusiastic to go to school. although it is a different school. i no longer have to travel almost 2 hours to that bloody rural school. now im teaching a mere 7 mins drive away from home.. that includes 3 red lights.. satu lagu pun tak sempat abis

life as a weekend wife is hard. i wouldnt recommend it to anyone. it took every ounce of your strength. it started a week after the wedding. on the 3rd of november 2008, we drove back to Kuantan. and on the same day.. he drives back to KL. I cried. at that moment i thought it shouldnt be this hard saying goodbye to him every week. it will b easier week by week. and the next week it was alright. i didnt cry one single bit. then..it was year end holiday already... after 6 weeks...well i didnt get to transfer that time. so i cried and cried. the tears seems like no end. but after the first week back in skul, i was alright. Every sunday...around 5 or 6pm, i kiss his hand.. i get a peck on both cheek and we hug. and i bit gudbye.. i wasnt happy or anything.. but i seems to give in that he got to go back. the next day is monday. the day we both hate. and have to go to work.

...but lately.. more than a couple of weeks back. i started to cry..on sunday afternoon. i felt like begging him not to go back. i was just being silly and difficult. but not intentionally. i didnt meant to act that way.. it got worse this last few weeks. it gets harder and harder... i wish sooo hard if he could stay one more night.

in the beginning he went back as early as 4pm... then he waited till after asar.. then he said latest 6pm. and since last week he waited till after maghrib. i am not happy with him driving the pitch darkness especially after the LPT.. the highhill slopes and turns. but im not willing to let him go back too early.

Today, 12th April...a year ago, we got engaged on this very day... and it was particularly hard for me to say good bye to him today. he just arrived home safely in gombak a few minutes ago... but till this very second i still wish he doesnt have to go back.. i wish he is still here with me now.. i wish we never have to this again..