back date...

My darling…

Ok first of all, my darling is not my boyfriend [just in case you think this is mushy love note for him. Nope. It is not. So u can keep on reading. BUT it is still a love note …just not for him… ;)]

Remember more than a year ago…I posted an entrée about the death of my darling..that was the time Julie called her boyfriend ‘darling’ too….on her YM status it said.. My Darling is coming… but on my YM status… My Darling is dead. Huhu…sad wasn’t it? That was a real slap on the face. I admit I didn’t actually care about darling health care. To be frank..that was the time I least care about myself, what more others or for that matter darling’s. But her death was upsetting. I was devastated. Sad. Mourning. Most of all, im Lost. A total lost.

In my [used to be] room there are two windows I can look out to the outside world…one with the beautiful view of the sky if u lie on my [used to be] bed. The other let me into the borderless world. Without darling. My walk-in-closet is so quiet. Too quiet till it scares me. Im just lost without her. Im not sure of what to do. I just freeze without her. Imagine if Mary lost her little lamb. That’s how. That was the time when I used to lie down on my bed till my heads get dizzy [I cant lie for a very long time…I get headaches and it spins and spins…8 good night sleep is enuf for me] When I get dizzy..i went out for a jog or walk. I start looking after myself. Make sure I get all the vitamins and other nutrition I need. I took multivitamins, vitamin C and calcium tablets everyday without fail. My gum was suffering bcos i lack of calcium [or some other vitamins that I’m not taking enough].

After a month or so…Darling was returned to me. All alive and kicking. Ready to keep me company for my [so I thought] lonely summer days. I appreciate darling a little more than I used to. We never know what we have till we lost it. Since then, its weekly spa session for darling… deep cleaning and detox… including full facial care..and I still do it for her till today! I truly care for darling at that time.. and my self too. she is there night n day…when springs turn to summer… keeps me busy thru the autumn gust…keeps me warm thru the winter.. gosh I love darling too much!

Life was lifeless without Darling. She is my everything. I don’t think I can live without her again.

But I was half wrong. Actually there are limited things I can do with darling without the other window. [to be honest I would like to have both windows back… cos the one with the beautiful view of the sky is replaced with an ugly view of a construction site..yikes!] the other window…is taken away from me [consequently my blog suffer bcos of that]. Thus limiting darling’s use to doing assignments, entertainment [music n movies mainly..], and freecell [lame. I know!]. my PSP is dead. Still looking for the CD to put it in Darling.

Nonetheless, I still love Darling like before. It doesn’t change a bit. I still care and darling still get her weekly spa session. *hugs* I do love darling so much. After all, if it is not bcos of her…me and my summer friend *wink* [the one who keep makes my summer not lonely as I thought it would be...] couldn’t possible stay up all night chatting till morning comes…can we? Hehehe… can’t wait to break our 6 hours straight chat session record after you are done with ur exam!!!! It will be more challenging bcos we have to accommodate the 7hours time difference. And of course, I shall prep Darling for the event…oh yesh…

Dearest Darling, although I once neglect you.. I hope with the endless care and love showered upon you now... you would be delighted to stand by me through thick and thin for years to come.. I love you so much Darling.. can never ever replace you. My one and only.. *hugs*

28 may 2007