wrong

just plain wrong.

i have spent the last 5 minutes to find a bigger word for the title. it was and still is my own little gratification to have a one word title for every post. hehe.

a little off track.
when i have to check the online dictionary for words, it a big sign that i have not spend the last couple of months reading a good book! huhuhu

im here to tell and spill that what i did for the last couple of weeks is ethically wrong and professionally shameful.

i am a teacher.

tho i am not the most dedicated teacher in the whole world, i still want to be a damn good one.

tho it is not my choice to be a teacher, i still want to make the most of it.

tho i may not be a teacher for a long time, but i might still be..but i want to make the difference in the lives that i taught and going to teach.

thats why when i walk into the class, i expect the kids to gain something from the hour i spend for them that day. i take my job seriusly and i want to see the fruits of my labour.

i am not just happy on pay day..
but i am the most happy
when my kids already know how to read and spell correctly.
when they get good grades.
when they are in good behaviour, walk properly in lines
when they remember to switch off the fan and lights when they leave the class
when they say 'Miss Yaqin cantik la hari ni....' hehe that was just me and my ego...=p


thats the joy of being the teacher.

since April i have to teach this one class of Y3. its the last class and damn it was really hard. everytime i walk out of that class, my blood pressure and stress level rises... huhu but the timetable changes from mid July till about early October..when the class was broken up and i get to teach Y2. For a while i was happy as a bee.

but the timetable revert to the previous one and i am back again. it was really a struggle. im always mad and grumpy everytime i came out of the class...

until one day i punish 7 boys to stand in the store room while i check the rest of the class's work. while i was teaching i heard they were laughing and having a good time. immediately i know, it was not my best choice of punishment. their behaviour really struck me that i have failed to be their teacher and to the rest of the class.

i came out of the class with tears running down my cheek because i failed. i talk to a couple of colleagues. they say i should not take it too much to the heart. it is bad for me.

and so.. i decided to not to talk to them, the 7 boys, anymore. lantak ler nak blaja ke tidak ke.. nak buat keje ke, tidak ke.. up to u. i only nod or shake my head. not even eye contact. i have done more than what i can.

not right, i know. ethically and profesionally. i shoudnt but i did it anyway. im not the slightest proud of what i did and i am actually ashamed of what i did. but i did it for my sanity.

after 2 days, i have realise that by ignoring the 7 stooges, i can actually help the rest of the class. i can actually do some real teaching. teaching English to the kids.

i am more at peace now. tho i still dread going to the class, i now walk out of the class without adding a few more lines to my face and a few more inch at my waist.

but it is still WRONG.

tell me how i can make it right again? tell me how i can be a better teacher?

blessing

i copied this from a blog i secretly read.. i take it as a blessing as now is a hard time. this is what we really need at the moment. Thanks to whoever decides to share this.


DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

Received a forwarded email from a friend of mine. Try to comprehend it and you'll learn to love with an open heart =)

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked theiridiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you thinkabout your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lieswithin it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someoneelse.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.'Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

happy anniversary

25th of October 2008.

the day our love was made official. it has been a year now. nothing much has change but being apart has certainly tested our love and patience.

truely, this day should be celebrated. however, on the 25th..my school had Sports Day and due to that he made plans to change his brake disc. huhu.. the car get to spend more time with him! =(

we didnt even get to plan anything special. just on the 24th October after Maghrib prayers we perform solat hajat together and pray for our future together.

hopefully, things will get better. future anniversary will be celebrated with joy, happiness and quality time together.

i just want you to myself for a while.

true.

Baby i love you , and I'll never let you go ,
But if I have to, boy I think that you should know ,
All the love we made , can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby i love you , and I'll never let you go ,
But if I have to, boy I think that you should know ,
The love we made , can never be erased ,
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you,
Yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until, the end , of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you
And I wanna have your kids
Thinkin never compares to the feeling of your kisses,
I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You make me thank god that I live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt
In my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side
But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Enjoyed everyday that I spent with you
And I will miss you cuz I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby i love you , and I'll never let you go,
But if I have to, boy I think that you should know,
All the love we made , can never be erased ,
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby i love you ,) and I'll never let you go ,
But if I have to, boy I think that you should know ,
The love we made , can never be erased ,
And I promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you,
Yes I do

I'll be with you
As long as you want me to until , the end , of time

habitat

habitat is [i believe] a place where you live in the most natural place to you. lets check..

Wikipedia said: A habitat (which is Latin for "it inhabits") is an ecological or environmental area that is inhabited by a particular animal and plant species. It is the natural environment in which an organism lives, or the physical environment that surrounds (influences and is utilized by) a species population.

ok ler. buleh le sket2. dapat ler sekerat markah. huhu


Over the weekend, hubby and i had venture back to what i must say our [mostly me] habitat. tho its not the same, barely comparable, but its the closest thing we get to living the dream again.

Welcome to

its one of our many more trips to come. At the moment, this is our little ways of spending times together. just the two of us.

about 10 am Friday 16th of Oct we head to Fraser's Hill. arrived at the Gap at about 11.45am. just missed the going up traffic. =S so we had to wait about an hour. the journey up took about 15mins. hubby does not want to miss Friday prayers so we head straight to the mosque. i get the chance to look around a little and feel the chillness. dare not to wonder to far...hehe

as soon as hubby is done we head straight to

where we are going to stay for a couple of nights. looks not very promising. but for RM 50 per nite.. who can complaint? heh

after checking in and settling down. we went out and check things out. we took a lot of pictures. here are my fav...

coolness

its very rare for him to smile like this....

with a map in our hands we start to drive around looking for things to do. i wanted to do some spa-ing. but none. no spa there. so i look forward to my original plan. to go for a picnic. and mandi air terjun. hehe. but to no avail we only found this..

the waterfall? huhu tarak jumpa! so hubby said lets try one of the trails. he wants to lepas gian hiking..huhu. so i pick one of the shorter and easier one. we dont know how easy its going to be.


so the next morning, after breakfast, we get ready and i make some packed lunch. we jalan2 to the other part of the hills...sightseeing looking at big huge banglows..then we head out to our picked trail.Kindersley trail. aku dah suspen nih..kot pengsan ke. larat ke mamat nih nak angkat aku..tskkk but it turns out to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. just 110m. aiyooo...

so we check out the others. i figured out a way we could go through 2 trails and at the end of it, we could walk through town to our car parked behind the mosque. hehe

it was okay. pretty fun. then we get our lunch and get back to our room. that evening we went driving around again.. we head out to find this...

hubby was a little upset to know that petronas has its own bungalow but we had to stay at the uncared apartment. however when we found this...

i said. its okay... i rather stay there than here.. dah le jauh... looks scary like rumah hantu.. yikes!
hahaha

but i wonder how we goverment servant could stay in one of this...

This is Rumah Persekutuan. mama said we could, just ask from Jab Perdana Menteri. Gorgeous big house..


then, we went back to our apartment and mandi2. so we could pray at the mosque. then we went to the town to take some night photos. hehe.. it was very cold. and its clearly a popular place for honeymooners..=) ye lerr sejuk2 tuh baru syok nak peluk2 kan??? hahaha..

the next morning, we had breakfast and we packed our things up.. get ready to head home. before that we took the last chance to take more photos to kill few more minutes before the gate for going down traffic is open.

looks like im pregnant.but itu hanyalah ilusi.. huhu blame the angin yang bertiup..

we took the other way home through kuala kubu bharu and rawang.. and we found this on the way...

air terjun yang tak seberapa. tapi cukup ler melepaskan gian aku nak celup kaki..huhu..


hopefully more trips as exciting as this will come. Cant wait for Sabah very soon!!