Only Heaven Knows

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

sad.

just plain sad. yes I am sad that hanna had to go. yes I accept that its not my decision to make. yes I know she has gone to a better place. yes I admit that Allah loves her more and I may not be able to care for her until she becomes the ultimate muslimah. I accept that and i have no intention to ask why she was taken away from me.

but I am just sad that other people was not given the chance to know her n love her. I am just sad that people would not remember her. I am just sad that nobody will visit her. I am just sad that we will be the only one to love n remember her.

18 Jan - 18 Feb 2011. She would be 1month old tomorrow. Love u baby girl

cuti

I read on fb, one friend wrote that 'my bonus at the end of every year is 6weeks of paid vacation'. which is absolutely true. but year after year after year, it never seems like having all 6 weeks to laze around n be lazy n be bored. There is always something to do n most of the time too much to do.. =( so it is not really a vacation. but more like you are being paid to catch up with other things that u didnt get to do while working... huhuhu

and believe it or not... i have tonnes of activity to do and so much more places to go.. i need to clear my room n get stuff here.. how am i supposed to fit all my clothes [3rails worth of baju kurung n shirt n blouse and everthing else] in the closet..I HAVE NO IDEA! huhuhu

I need to get some stocks here. I will have to bring alot more than last time. huhu.. ada org amik 20 and i was left like 4 pcs jer..huhu and i have to take this holiday time to start a new list to advertise n leave links everywhere. huhu. i really2 want to do a year end sale but as i dont have my stocks with me.. its really hard! huhui still have no where to put the stocks yet! owh i really need to find some space.. bawah katil penuh dgn hadiah kawen!!! perhaps getting a small short drawers to put by the window is good idea. we can put our lappie there..both of it and solve the problem of hiding my stocks n ayang's files.. owh he does have ALOT of files.. he is very good at filing. he takes it really seriously like filing everything very systematically. huhu.. me? i am the messy one remember?

i shall continue soon~~

change

For the umph-teen or million time, I want to get this out loud n clear. I hate change!

I am one of those human being that love to stay in my comfort zone. Changes scare me. Be it good or bad, it still scares me to the max.

At the moment there will be a lot of changes in the next coming months.. First I get to transfer to Gombak. The school is still a mystery. Hopefully I can get something closer to home so that I dont have to travel to far from home.

So that means I will move my laidback life in Kuantan to KL. I will be living in Gombak until our place in Selayang is ready. I dont really fancy the idea of living there..but what to do.. a wife's place is next to her husband. I am glad to be able to drop that weekend wife title. I long to get the chance to be able to kiss my hubby before he goes to work and give him a great big hug that could make his shirt all wrinkle up! heeee

Another thing that worries me is my business. How on earth I am going to continue it now? I need access to post office and more importantly some space for all my hooks. I can however find a small place to put limited stock like 2/3pcs of each colour/design...which really means I have to travel back to Kuantan to constantly replenish my stocks. Considering my situation n condition now...i dont think that is permisible.. [if there such a word.. hehehe]


I can't wait for the house to be ready. I can't wait to move in n have a normal life. I want to live like normal husband n wife. It will be hard work as I have to clean, cook n wash but I want it. If it is too much I can always ask for a maid rite..hehehehhe lazy lazy me!

Apart from that.. will i be happy with the school? will the friends be okay? will the kids be amazing like my year 3E? Will the teachers tolerate my laziness of everything? My messiness? I sort of pick what I want to do. I don't mind going all out with teaching n get the materials ready and stuff. But hey look at my class.. they had potential to be one of the pretiest class..but unfortunately they get Moi for the class teacher. Decorating n putting up all those knick knacks are certainly not my specialty. I dont really bother about making it a pretty class...just plain clean with shiny floors will do. I dont tolerate with messiness in the class tho.. just in my room n on my table. heeee..

There will be a lot more changes happening in months to come.. but I am not ready to spill here it yet. Just incase someone is reading. Tho I am pretty sure no one reads my blog anymore.. but just incase. I am not ready to face the situation yet again tho I pray hard that I don't have to. That it will be a wonderful journey for me n hubby...

speaking of hubby, I havent talk to him for the past 72 hours.. he is away for work.. i dont like it. but what can I do? for the past 2 nights n as i am typing this.. i still keep on trying to dial the number if I could get through the line. But the weather [ i guess] has a different plan. He was supposed to come back last Thursday..but something came up and he had to delay his return to Sunday. 2 nights away.. I think I can.. but I am not really sure I can.. huhuhu

A lot of thoughts has gone into this post.. I really am happy. Sometimes, when I feel sad or happy.. i read my old posts..it reminds me of the happier/sadder days I had in the past.. how i dealt with it..how i change my life.. It is really an eye opener.. and yes I am thankful and glad that I have this blog. I will be back soon..perhaps with some happy news...

friends

sometimes i think i have the craziest friends on earth. sometimes i feel that we are all sooooooooo different until i feel how on earth that we ever become friends. sometimes i feel that they are the weirdest bunch of people. sometimes i feel that they are the silliest 25+ years old in the world!

but  most times they are the people you can count on. Most of the times we are so similar that we are thinking about the same thing even we are at different places. most times i feel that they are the most normal human beings in this world. [really????] most times i think that they are the super genius and cleverest people in the whole wide world.

But hey at all times, I am the lucky one to have friends like you...

As usual... when i feel there is one of us that need any other one of us..i blog about them. who is it this time?